Apparently all the single men had a meeting to decide on the most alluring elements of an online dating profile. Unfortunately, this is all they managed to come up with...
First date: The Zoo
At least 6 out of 10 guys I come across think taking a girl to the zoo is a cute and original idea. Just a quick note - if it's an idea that Kirk from TOWIE can come up with, then you need to do better.
Also, let's be honest with ourselves here - on a first date, all we really want to do is get a few drinks down our throat (and our date's) so we can work up the courage to be ourselves around someone new, and feel like we're far more impressive than we actually are. Leave your quirky ideas for a second or third date when you feel like the relationship could actually go somewhere and you realise your personality isn't enough to keep the girl interested.
Looking for a partner in crime
Erm, no thanks - prison's not for me. But judging by the Kappa jacket and sovereign rings you're wearing in your photos, it's somewhere you'd fit in quite well. Sorry to say it, but I think it's going to be a one-man job mate!
If anyone asks, we met in the supermarket/at the park/on a bus
Ah okay, so you're ashamed to end up in a relationship with someone who admits to internet dating... Great first impression! I hate to be the one to tell you this, but YOU'RE ON A DATING WEBSITE! If this is a problem then maybe you should skulk around the supermarket/park/bus stop for real, waiting for the woman of your dreams to show up? No worries, I'm sure the lovely lady you end up with will be lowering her standards too.
Recently moved to [insert town/city name], and looking for someone to explore with
You live here now - go buy a map and explore it yourself; I'm not a tour guide! Plus this way when we eventually break up, I won't have to avoid all my favourite bars and restaurants at the risk of seeing you around every corner.
Looking for a partner in crime
Erm, no thanks - prison's not for me. But judging by the Kappa jacket and sovereign rings you're wearing in your photos, it's somewhere you'd fit in quite well. Sorry to say it, but I think it's going to be a one-man job mate!
If anyone asks, we met in the supermarket/at the park/on a bus
Ah okay, so you're ashamed to end up in a relationship with someone who admits to internet dating... Great first impression! I hate to be the one to tell you this, but YOU'RE ON A DATING WEBSITE! If this is a problem then maybe you should skulk around the supermarket/park/bus stop for real, waiting for the woman of your dreams to show up? No worries, I'm sure the lovely lady you end up with will be lowering her standards too.
Recently moved to [insert town/city name], and looking for someone to explore with
You live here now - go buy a map and explore it yourself; I'm not a tour guide! Plus this way when we eventually break up, I won't have to avoid all my favourite bars and restaurants at the risk of seeing you around every corner.
Looking for a woman I can spoil
Oh pur-lease! If you were really that rich you wouldn't be trawling the internet for women - gold-diggers are ten a penny in the real world! Any clown that says this means that if he pays for dinner on your first date, he's expecting you to return the favour in the bedroom later. Go away you disgusting little man; the only thing you're spoiling is my appetite...
This is just some of the pig swill I've read through on my quest to find one man that isn't a moron. I'll undoubtedly encounter more along the way which I'll be sure to warn you about, but I want your help - If you've read something that's made you throw up in your mouth a little bit, I'd love to hear about it! Leave me a comment or send me a tweet @datesschmates
Thanks!
This Girl
This is just some of the pig swill I've read through on my quest to find one man that isn't a moron. I'll undoubtedly encounter more along the way which I'll be sure to warn you about, but I want your help - If you've read something that's made you throw up in your mouth a little bit, I'd love to hear about it! Leave me a comment or send me a tweet @datesschmates
Thanks!
This Girl
My friend has just reminded me of an absolute classic: "Where are all the normal women?"
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